Blue as Ice and Desire
by Angi3
Summary: Set during HBP. We all know that Draco went ot Myrtle for comfort... but what if he found comfort in some one else's arms too?


Disclaimer: Ginny, Draco, Harry, and the whole Hogwarts universe does not and will never belong to me ).

_**Blue as Ice and Desire**_

The sky was such a sharp blue the first time he kissed me. It was during Christmas break, the air was so cold you could see your breath. I was standing by the lake, just watching...watching how the sun made the thin layer of ice at the edges of the lake shine. It was beautiful. I would lean against a tree and stand there for hours at a time. It was so peaceful. Whenever I was there I was so calm.

I didn't hear him coming up behind me. It was such a shock when I finally noticed he was standing next to me. He didn't say anything at first; he just stood there, looking out onto the lake. I tried to ignore him but it felt wrong. It's like my mum always tells me, "_People shouldn't be forgotten..." _So, I asked him if there was anything wrong. He just looked at me with these eyes that you could get lost in. And then, all of a sudden he pushed me up against the tree and he was kissing me. He was kissing me so deeply I thought my heart would explode. When he pulled away I couldn't breathe. I looked up into his eyes again—God, they were so grey-- and tried to find a reason for what had just happened. All that met my gaze was confusion.

He leaned in again and whispered in my ear, _"Just breathe." _Then he was gone as quickly as he came. I went back every day that week hoping to catch him again, but he never came back. I was crushed.

I made a promise to find him and demand an explanation but the second school started that became impossible. We would pass each other in the halls and he wouldn't even look my way. I began to think that maybe that kiss had been a figment of my imagination, or a cruel joke. My heart wouldn't let me forget how his grey eyes locked with mine. Those eyes haunted me everywhere I went. The nights were the hardest. I would lie on my bed and stare up at the ceiling imagining that it was a blue winter sky. I could almost feel his lips on mine and just as my heart began to soar, the feeling was gone.

I started wandering the halls at night. Trying to find some peace of mind. It became a nightly ritual. For weeks I would walk the halls by myself. On the third week of... of this wandering I saw him! He was walking so slowly that it was easy to follow him. I followed him all the way to the room of requirement. I kept in the shadows as he walked back and forth. When he went in, I waited a few minutes, and then I followed him in.

The first sound that hit me was music. It was so sad, and beautiful at the same time. I looked around, trying to find the source, and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw a piano. He was sitting on the piano bench, hitting the keys like his life depended on it. Every note said _"please,"_ and every chord said _"Turn my way."_ I was so caught up in the music that I didn't notice that I was walking toward him, just like his music had asked. Suddenly he looked up, and our eyes locked,_ again_; my simple brown ones and his silver grey ones. The music stopped.

_"Why?"_ I asked, never taking my eyes away from his.

"_Is that a rhetorical question?"_ He answered, breaking eye contact. He began to get up_. "What's the point of a rhetorical question any way?" _He turned his back and started to walk away.

I grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving. My heart just couldn't take that. _"Because some things need to be said!" _I shouted._ "You can't just screw with a person's head and never tell them why! You can't just kiss someone like that and not tell them why." _ I was crying and I couldn't find a reason. It was so stupid, all he did was kiss me once and I already loved him. I think I always loved him somewhere deep down. He stopped, his back stiffened as I spoke, but he didn't turn around.

_"Because I can. There, that's your answer. Because I can do anything I want."_ He slowly turned around and glared at me. I didn't know what came over me, but in a heartbeat I was pressed against him and kissing him; I felt that delicious feeling spread from the pit of my stomach, he was intoxicating. Every time he tried to pull away I would press my mouth harder onto his. He stopped trying to fight, and wrapped his arms around me.

His kisses were full of desire and need, and it felt so right. All of my thoughts left my head and I just let myself go. I let everything out through those kisses. His hands were everywhere, running up and down my side, on the small of my back, even in my hair. He was an amazing kisser. We stood there for God knows how long. Eventually he pulled away. His hair wasn't neatly combed has it always was, instead it stuck out in odd angles and his shirt was crumpled. If the air wasn't so tense, I think I might have giggled.

He reached out and traced the side of my face with his fingers. "_There's something I should sa- "_ He stopped abruptly. It was almost as if he had been under a spell and it had just been broken. His entire face changed and he stopped smiling. _"I have to go." _He traced his finger up my face one more time and turned to leave again. He was almost at the door, right before he left her looked over his shoulder and said, _"Come tomorrow..." _With that he left.

I nodded though I knew he couldn't see me. He had slammed the door shut, yet I was still on cloud nine. _"Tomorrow..." _kept ringing in my head. I smiled to myself; he really was a good kisser. I didn't feel like going all the way back to Gryffindor Tower so I walked over to the piano, and sat down. It really was a very lovely piano. I took out my wand to change the settings, I felt in the mood to hear something whimsical, but to my surprise it didn't work. That could only mean that this was a muggle piano. I remember thinking how odd that was. I mean, come on; he was a known muggle hater. I pushed that thought out of my head. It didn't matter anyway, did it? I felt like playing the piano, though of course it had been so long since I had played. When I was younger my Aunt Brenda had taught me, but she died before we ever got to finish. I tried to teach myself, but Mum and Dad had to sell the piano, so that was the end of that. I started playing anyway. Letting my fingers guide me, it felt good to give up control for once. After a few minutes I could feel my eyes drooping. It was time to go, I knew that, but some how I still wanted to stay. I sighed, and forced myself to go back to my dormitory. I didn't lie awake that long. It was the first time I slept without his eyes haunting me. God, his eyes were so grey.

The next day of classes was a blur. I vaguely remember blowing something up in Potions. Professor Slughorn gave me detention and sent me to the nurse. I wasn't too hurt, but he insisted. Now, going to Madam Pomfrey caused me to be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts, which led me to yet another detention. After my last class I went straight to the lake. I needed something calming before I saw him again. I never quite got over how beautiful it all was. The lake with its thin layer of ice, and the blueness of the sky, it was all so calming, and breathtaking at the same time. I let the scenery wash over me. I closed my eyes, and tilted my head up to catch whatever sunlight still lingered. When I opened my eyes, it was already getting dark. I went back to the common room to do my assignments, and then I headed out. I told everyone that I was going to the Library; of course, they didn't pay attention.

I walked as fast as I could to the room of requirement. When I got there I saw that the door had already appeared. _"Just breath,"_ I reminded myself. I slowly turned the knob, expecting to hear music. Instead he was all I saw. He was bent over what looked like some sort of cabinet. I walked over and bent down next to him. He didn't notice me. He just kept on working, muttering to himself. A few minutes later he finally noticed me. He slowly raised his head. His grey eyes froze me down to my core. It was as if he could shoot ice out of his eyes. I was so scared.

_"Get out..." _he whispered. I shook my head no. His face hardened, he raised his hand, and I thought he was going to hit me. I flinched, and a look of concern passed briefly through his eyes, but it was so brief I'm not even sure now what it was. He pulled out his wand and tapped the cabinet. Little sparks came out of the side of the cabinet, fell slowly to the ground, and disappeared, he looked crestfallen. He sighed and closed his eyes.

All of a sudden the room was spinning, and I closed my eyes too so I wouldn't get dizzy. When I opened them the cabinet was gone and we were back in the room with the piano. I looked back to where he was sitting by the floor. He slowly got up and walked over to the piano. _"I told you to get out." _He said quietly, fingers beginning to pluck at the keys. He stopped for a second to roll up his sleeves. And then the music began, and I couldn't look away. I remember staring at his fingers- wanting them.

_"What was that?"_ I asked, trying to get him to look at me.

_"Mind your own business. Now get out!"_ He was looking at me again, with those silver orbs that could see into my soul. I was paralyzed. I couldn't look away from him. He gave me one final glare and then went back to playing.

Just like before, the music began to draw me to him. The music was taunting me, just like he was. I could feel the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. He was so close to me, but I couldn't have him. I guess I must have sobbed because I remember him looking up at me. He motioned me for me to come to him. I went. I wiped away my tears and I could see his icy grey eyes soften. _"I can't get you out of my head..." _I whispered.

_"I can see that." _He muttered, pulling me onto the bench. And then it was happening again. He was kissing me, and I was kissing him, and it was sheer perfection. He gently tugged me closer to him until I was practically on top of him. Then his hands were everywhere, and I could feel him burning with desire. I reached up and began to undo his robe, driven by the inane need to touch his skin, to feel it underneath my fingertips.

The robe came off easily, and I started to unbutton his shirt. He grabbed my hands and stopped me; I look up into his eyes; they were cold again. He laughed up at me and shoved me off of him. I nearly fell off the bench but I caught myself just in time. He bent down and grabbed his robe, and that's when I saw it. The symbol that had haunted my childhood: the Dark Mark.

I could feel a scream starting my throat; I clamped a hand over my mouth to stop it. I slowly backed away, grabbing my wand as I went. This couldn't be happening, he couldn't be one of them. I had to get out, I had go and erase all of this from my mind. I ran past him as fast as I could. I was almost at the door when I felt him whirl me around to face him.

_"Do you get it now? God damn it. " _He let go of my arm like I had burned him. He pulled his sleeves down and ran his shaking fingers through his hair. _"God damn it..."_ he kept repeating over and over again. He turned, and started walking back to the piano. I understand now that it was his only release. He must have had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I couldn't let myself get dragged down into what ever problems he was having, I just couldn't. I was too afraid something would happen to me again.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my mind. I was torn-- torn between running as fast as I could away from there, and running towards him and taking his pain away. I wanted to be his piano, his escape. I felt so cold as the realization hit me: I could never be his escape. We were too different. I knew that I had to leave and shut the door on him; pretend that he didn't exist, pretend that I never cared. _"People shouldn't be forgotten..."_ Mum's voice rang in my head. I pressed my finger against my head, willing the thoughts to go away. I felt him looking at me. I jerked my head up and my simple brown eyes met his icy grey ones once again. They were burning with desire, burning right through me.

I don't remember who started it, but all I do remember is that we were on top of each other like before. His hands were everywhere, just like mine. We both new that this was goodbye... that once we broke apart we had to go our separate ways. I shut my brain off and let myself do what my heart wanted. He gently pushed me onto a four-post bed that had materialized behind me. He was on top of me, unbuttoning my shirt as fast as he could. While he was doing that, I pulled down my skirt and unbuttoned his pants. He pulled away from me and looked straight into my eyes. They seemed to be asking if it was ok. I nodded, and his grey eyes flashed with desire. In seconds he was kissing me with so much fire that I nearly forgot who I was... and what I was about to do. Pushing my shirt down he began to lay soft kisses along my collarbone, I had never known that he could be so tender—to anyone—let alone me, a Weasley... his worst enemy. A soft moan escaped my lips, he quickly looked up, and a smirk spread across his handsome face. I pushed his pants down with my feet, he growled into my ear and brought his lips down on mine in another painfully beautiful kiss.

His lips left mine and he unhooked my bra; his fingers began slowly stroking my breasts. I lifted my arms and he slipped down my bra, and threw it unceremoniously to the floor. He sat back on his heels, while his fingers traced imaginary circles over my body. They left me warm and tingly all over. Suddenly, one of his fingers pushed under the waste line of my knickers. I gasped, and bit my lip to stifle yet another moan. He slowly pushed them down. I lifted up my hips to help, and in an instant I was completely naked. I reached out to him, and pulled him by his shirt towards me. I began to unbutton that as well when his pale hands stopped me. I looked up at him, my confused brown eyes finding his grey ones. _"You don't want to see that." _He murmured has he released my hands.

_"What if I want to?" _I remember replying simply. His eyes flashed painfully, but he nodded. My hands flew into action and his shirt was unbuttoned roughly. I gasped, tears welling in my eyes, as I saw his chest. It was crisscrossed with horrible scars. Some so old they were almost fading, but there were a good amount that was red and fresh. He rolled over and laid back against the pillows. He looked away, ashamed and unable to talk. I bent my head over his chest and slowly kissed every scar. It was the only thing I thought I could do at the time and now, looking back on it, I realize that it was the _only _thing that could have been done.

When I had finished with his scars I moved my kisses slowly down to his stomach. Quidditch had done him well; his stomach was toned and muscular. My fingers brushed up against his boxers and I felt his body twitch in anticipation. I pushed down his boxers in one fluid motion. My breath hitched in my throat as I stared down at him. I flipped my long red hair over my shoulder and turned to look into his eyes. He grabbed me, and pulled me towards him so that I was lying on top of him. He captured my lips and then rolled me over, pinning me against the bed.

He slid his kisses from my mouth, to my neck, and then to my ear. _"Have you ever done this before_ _Weasel?" _He whispered. I shook my head no, and I think he was surprised. At least he looked surprised... I don't quite remember, it seems so long ago now. He ran his fingers over my cheek a down my neck. I let out a moan and my cheeks grew hot.

He slowly spread my legs. I was so scared that I was shaking. I felt him position himself at my entrance, and I gripped his forearms for support. Just as he began to slip inside of me, my palm started to burn. I shrieked a bit and pulled my hand away. The Dark Mark had changed from a deep red to a cruel black. It shone against the pale white of his skin. It took me a few seconds to realize that he, Voldemort, was calling him. He hissed in pain and clamped his hand over his fore arm. He got off of me and started to frantically get dressed. I watched him, and couldn't help but cry and the thought of what was going to happen to him now. If Voldemort was involved, it surely wasn't good news.

When he was dressed he turned back to me. Grey eyes met brown, and an understanding passed between us, this would never-- no-- could never happen again. I got up and walked towards him. I don't even know what I was trying to do, but I had to do something. I reached for him, and he stepped back. I folded my arms over my chest and realized that I was still naked. I quickly picked up my blouse from the floor and threw it on. Next to it I saw my skirt, so I slipped that on to. When I turned around he was already at the door. I ran to him and pressed my lips onto his._ "What ever happens... I—I just want you to know that I will never forget you," _I muttered into his ear as I pulled away. I stared up into his eyes, and even though he didn't say anything, I knew that what I had said meant something to him. I knew that maybe even I had meant something to him. He turned away from me and left me there.

I haven't seen him since that night, but his eyes still haunt my dreams. I've tried to move on. Harry, he's been so good to me. His kisses don't make me forget who I am, and his fingers will never feel as soft has Draco's against my skin. It's not like I don't feel anything for Harry, I honestly do, it's just that one piece of my heart will always belong to a man who's silver grey eyes could see into my soul. So, this little piece of my heart will wait for him; for a man who I met on a cold winters day, when the sky was a blue as ice and desire.

Fin

A/N: Hope you guys liked it. Sorry for Draco being out of character but I was in need of some D/G fluff!


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